Dear Pam,
I wanted to know what the Bible says about having children out of wedlock. This seems to be the norm nowadays, and I was wondering what the Word says about it.
--Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
My father passed away eleven years ago, and I find myself wanting to call him–even today. I long to dial the phone, to hear his voice.
I want to sit with him. To listen to his instruction. To see his smile. To share my life with him. To smell his shirt.
Can children out of wedlock know such love, the kind that only comes from such a connection to a father?
That fishy odor on my dad’s shirt was always a reminder of how he found peace and could talk to God at the lake. No matter what he did,
I knew that was important to my dad. And that gives me peace.
My father was active in my life. He attended my softball games. He watched me twirl. He encouraged me. He corrected me. He guided me. He
held me when I cried. He laughed with me. He provided a safe haven of love.
He deposited his time in my life. I felt secure. He shaped my thoughts, and my values, and I never wondered who my father was, or if he
was devoted to me.
But what about the child who is born of wedlock? Will he or she know such love?
Of late, Hollywood has glorified the children born to famous women who are not married. For me, the message we’re sending to young
people is confusing, especially since those acts seemingly are applauded.
But what does God say about this? Is it clear? Does His Word provide a scripture that says, do not have premarital sex, and do not have
a child out of wedlock?
Not exactly, but many scriptures give us insight into the values that God wants us to exemplify and obey. He cares about the union of a
man and woman, of family, marriage, of commitment and faithfulness.
When God created Adam and Eve, He told them to be fruitful and to multiply, as found in Genesis 1:22 where it says, "And God blessed
them, saying, be fruitful, and fill the waters and seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth."
Now, the absence of a wedding band does not give a woman the license to decide to have a child out of wedlock, especially in light of
Exodus 20:14. The Ten Commandments say that we should not commit adultery and also in Colossians 3:5-7 it speaks about putting to death
our earthly nature, like sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed.
God wants us to live a pure life, and I don’t believe He takes exception regarding the subject of children born out of wedlock. He set
the family unit into motion at creation, and by the time we get to the New Testament, we see that God’s own son Jesus came to humanity
by way of a virgin birth. This tells me purity is valued and important to God.
The media may glorify the actors who have children out of wedlock, by making it headline news. However, what about the faces of the
children who will someday long to know their father?
They will want to feel his embrace. They will look for him on the playground and at nighttime when it’s storming, they will miss his
comfort. They will see the empty chair at the breakfast table. His chair. And when it’s Father’s Day, when other children are with their
dads, his absence will be noticed even more.
I once read that a father has two huge hands that lift you onto his shoulders, and that he will put worms on hooks better than any other
hands in the world. I know this to be true, because my father not only was a great fisherman, but his love for me completed our family.
He spent his life reaching inside of his own heart to show me God’s love too. And with that in mind, no child should miss hearing, "Now,
when I was your age..."
About The Author:
Pam Kumpe writes a weekly inspirational newspaper column for the
Bowie County Life/Texarkana Gazette in East Texas. She
hosts a podcast "Daybreak Devotionals," a series on the women of the Bible. For more about Pam go to
PamKumpe.com or visit her blog, www.pamkumpe.blogspot.com.
* Information provided in this column is for entertainment purposes only.
The information in this column is not meant to be taken as legal, medical, or professional advice. Read legal
disclaimer.
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