Monitoring Television Time

Author: Alyice Edrich

Have you ever had a child so engrossed in television that she (or he) refused to do anything else but watch television? And the mere idea of asking that child to do something else resulted in temper tantrums, bad attitudes, and name calling? I can relate to your dilemma because I have gone through this with my own daughter—and with my son, via his computer games.

Sometimes kids just need a chance to vegetate and watching television gives them the opportunity to have an “I don’t have to do anything for anyone but me” kind of day and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when our children begin to put television above relationships, chores, homework, or physical activities that’s when we have to worry.

According to my daughter, there are just so many great shows to watch; shows that make her laugh and give her ideas to play make-believe. Sometimes she’ll even tell me that she’s learning things and go into vast detail about what she’s learned. While I agree that used properly television can be a wonderful educational tool, too much of it is not a good thing.

When my daughter’s mood drastically changes because she is mad that I asked her to turn off the television, or help around the house when her “favorite” show is on, I remind her that it’s just a television show and not the end of the world. Sometimes, that’s all I have to do snap her back to reality.

But if that doesn’t work, and she continues to throw a tantrum, I go into her room, turn off the television, unplug it, and take it out of her room. If she walks into the living room and turns on the big television set, I turn it off and tell her to go sit in time out until she can talk to me nicely.

When she’s calmed down, we discuss why what she did was wrong and reinforce the fact that television shows are not meant to take over one’s life but enhance them. (Just talk to your daughter in a language she understands.)

Over the years I have learned to set a few ground rules when it comes to television:

During the week, my daughter likes to watch morning cartoons but she cannot turn on the television until she is completely dressed for school, has her teeth and hair brushed, has her homework in her backpack and ready to go, and has eaten breakfast. Usually that gives her a good incentive to give me a no hassle morning.
After school, my daughter cannot watch television until 7 p.m.; that means she has a good four hours to do her homework, finish her chores, and use her imagination. If there is a special on television that she really wants to watch, I’ll tape it for her. If you have DIVO, you can do this without any extra effort on your part.
On Saturdays, she can watch television in the mornings because that’s when all the children’s shows come on and it gives me a chance to sleep in. But by noon, she has to turn off the television and find something else to do.
On Sundays, she cannot watch television until we’ve returned from church and have ran our weekly errands, which on some days includes a really nice family outing.

As your child gets older, such stringent rules may not be necessary. Setting one simple rule may suffice.

Sometimes that rule can be as simple as, “You’re not allowed to watch more than two hours of television a day”.

Other times, it may have to be more detailed, like “You’re not allowed to watch television until your homework and all your chores are done. You must turn off the television set when friends and family come over for a visit so that you can engage in conversation and activities. And you are not allowed to watch more than eight hours of television a week.”

The important thing about setting rules is to set rules you are comfortable enforcing, that align with your family values, and that can grow as you child grows.