How To Write A Eulogy

Author: Alyice Edrich

Eulogy: A formal expression of praise for someone who recently died.

Writing a eulogy is no easy task. Besides the fact that one is grieving the loss of a wonderful person, there is the difficulty of choosing the right words to convey not only how much this person meant to the writer, but to the world as a whole.

The simplest way to write a eulogy is to think of yourself walking through a park with your best friend. You’re talking about an event that recently happened when your friend turns to you and says, “You’ve mentioned this person by name a million times, but I don’t really know this person. Who is he (or she)? Can you tell me anything about him (or her) that will let me know how much he (or she) means to Had the person not died, your mind would’ve rambled to a million thoughts, wouldn’t it? It’s those same thoughts you want to share on paper, and then read at the funeral or memorial service.

The basic format for a eulogy will depend on your style.

A more serious eulogy will look something like this:

The name of the person who passed way.
When he/she was born.
When he/she died.
Who he/she was to you: friend, relative, etc.
Why this person mattered to you.
Stories that only the two of you experienced together.
How he/she changed your world and/or the world around you.
Why you’ll always remember the person.
A final goodbye.

A more entertaining eulogy would be a song and dance number, a comedic sketch, a mini-play, a short film or slide show, a documentary, a poem, or even a short story.

The important thing to keep in mind is that a eulogy is simply a way of paying final respects to a person who touched your life in a way no one else ever could. There is no right or wrong way to give a eulogy, as long as it’s honoring the memory of a good person. (In other words, leave the negatives out!)

If you’re having trouble trying to figure out what to put in your eulogy, consider answering the following questions. When you’re done, you’ll have a wonderful idea of who this person is and what he/she has meant not only to you, but the world around you.

Who is the person you are eulogizing?
- What is his/her name?
- When was he/she born and where?
- What did he/she look like?
- How long have you known the person?
- What was his/her personality like?
- What was his/her life like growing up and how did it differ in his/her dying days?
What was one aspect of his/her life that you treasured the most?
What is one memory that really stands out in your mind when you think of this person?
What were some of his/her greatest accomplishments in life?
- personal,
- spiritual,
- monetary, or
- business.
Was there a time when he/she showed great courage, conviction, or other attribute?
Was there a lesson he/she taught you, or someone around you, that stands out as life changing?
Was there a saying you remember the deceased always saying?

Once the questions have been answered, it’s time to pick out key points and expand on them so that your eulogy has a natural flow to it.

If you’re having trouble remembering things because your grief is too fresh and painful, call the deceased’s family members and friends and ask them to share memories they have of the deceased. Some times, just hearing what others thought can offer such peace, and ultimately give you fresh material for your eulogy.

Just remember to keep your eulogy flowing. It should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It should have one theme. It shouldn’t jump around from topic to topic, but rather stay tightly focused. In other words, the eulogy should stay on topic.

Once you’ve written your eulogy, put it away for a day or two, then go back to it and read it aloud to make sure it flows smoothly. If anything sounds confusing or feels awkward to say, edit that area.

And remember, as long as you’re honest and honoring the deceased with heartfelt memories, writing the eulogy can be therapeutic and healing not only for you, but for those in the audience.