How To Compliment A Man

Author: Nancy C. Anderson

Men are not women. (Just in case you hadn’t noticed.) So, if you are complimenting your husband the same way you compliment your girlfriend, sister, or daughter, you may be wasting your time and energy.

Women tend to complement each other about how they look, what they are wearing, or some physical object (haircut, dress. shoes, or jewelry). A man might like you to notice his new haircut, too, but if you REALLY want him to feel appreciated, valued, and respected, most men crave these three types of compliments: Physical, Mental and Spiritual.

Mental

Men like to be told how intelligent they are. Find ways to use words like clever, smart, genius, and knowledgeable. Notice a specific thing he did and then tell him how smart he was to accomplish that task. Then add a phrase of encouragement or appreciation.

Example: “I would never have thought of that way to fix the ________. You’re so smart. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

Physical

Men like to be told how strong they are. Use the words, muscle, strength, powerful, manly, and buff. Flirting with your man while complimenting his body is a great way to make him feel appreciated and accepted.

Example: Next time he lifts something that’s heavy, say, (with a flirty, playful voice) “I like watching you flex your muscles. Come here and show me more.”

Spiritual

Men like to know we appreciate their spiritual leadership and honorable character. (If your man is not taking a leadership position, complimenting even a small positive gesture will encourage more of them.)

Example: Ask his opinion on the meaning of a Scripture verse, or for Biblical advice about a situation you are unsure of. (Then don’t argue with his opinion.) Say, “I’m grateful that you care about having a Godly family and I’m very thankful I married you.”

Just to be sure I was correct on these three categories, I sent out a survey asking married men how they would like to be complimented. Here is one answer that says it all!

Example: Bernie, a retired police officer from Minnesota, said, “Think of how a coach or a commander in the army motivates his men. They want them to be capable, honorable, willing to work hard, and die for the cause. So, men like to be complimented for how good a job they have done. Telling a man he is smart for thinking up a solution to a problem works great. Along with affirmation and appreciation for doing a good job, add thanks for being an honorable, respectable, capable man. To be honest, the greatest compliment to a man—after he has done something that you, as his wife, really appreciates—is to give him “that look” and lead him by the hand to the bedroom. Women really have no idea how motivating that can be to a man and would certainly greatly increase the chances that the relationship would improve, almost instantly.”

So, let’s all practice complimenting our men with praise, appreciation, and respect in the three categories of their mental, physical and spiritual strengths.

Remember that our words have the power to build up, or the power to destroy (read Proverbs 12:18) so let’s use our power to build up our husbands. If they are strong, our families will be strong!

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” -- I Thessalonians 5:11 (New Living Translation)