In this day of pizza delivery and speedy drive-through meals, it’s easy to forgo a sit-down "real silverware" dinner. But when we
sacrifice nutrition for convenience our body's immune systems start to falter. We need to eat a balanced diet and contrary to what the
advertisers tell us, super-sized fries are not healthy vegetables.
Unfortunately, some of us have transferred this fast-food lifestyle to our marriages and our marriages' immune systems have begun to
falter. If we only have drive-through intimacy, our marriages lose their immunity to the world’s "germs."
But it’s not too late. Just as we can all agree that peas are nutritious and good for the body, we can agree that the following three
Ps are good for our marriages.
Plan:
Just as planning is important to the success of a meal, it's also vital to the success of a marriage. Don't let your married life just
happen, plan time for the two of you to be together. Society tells us that we all need more "me" time, but it's "we" time that
strengthens our marriages.
Take turns planning a weekly date night. If it's not practical to get away for the whole evening, find a way to meet for lunch or go for
an evening stroll through your neighborhood. Even cuddling on the couch after the kids are in bed, to watch old home movies or our
favorite videos can be considered a date.
The key to any successful date, however, is to try not to talk about our jobs or children, but to concentrate on the personal thoughts
of our mates and ourselves and to share new goals and dreams.
Praise:
Many marriages dissolve after years of being together because the couples have forgotten how to compliment one another. When we are
critical and unappreciative of our spouses, resentment, bitterness, anger, sadness, and depressions and grow and fester in our marriages
until we eventually lose sight of what we originally liked about each other. We forgot that love doesn't keep score of the sins of others
and that love always looks for the best in each other.
According to 1Corintians 13 without love we only make meaningless noises and without love, faith, and hope a marriage will not survive.
When we love one another, according to 1 Corinthians 13:4, we are patient and kind; not jealous or boastful or filled with pride at the
expense of someone else; we do not demand to always have our own way; we do not keep records of who did what to the other person when,
how, or why, but we learn to forgive them and let those things go; and love rejoices in each other’s accomplishments—no matter how small
or large they may be.
Praises offer encouragement and hope in a world where demands run high and praises run low. Criticism, unthankfulness, and snide remarks
destroy marriages. But praises, words of thanksgiving, and love build up marriages and help them endure through life’s crazy, mixed-up
world.
Pray:
Just as a prayer should be offered before each meal, it must be integrated into our daily routines. The spiritual life of a marriage is
a great indicator of the health of the whole relationship. Praying together is an act of intimacy, and in order for it to be effective,
it must be genuine and heartfelt.
In Luke 11, the Lord’s prayer is a wonderful recipe for helping us to open our hearts to pray effectively for ourselves, our marriage,
and the world around us. The Lord's prayer reminds us to first honor God, to appreciate the life He has given us, and the things we have
in our possession, but then it tells us to forgive one another, as God has forgiven us. And finally, it helps remind us that the world’s
temptations do not have to be temptations that destroy our marriages, our relationships, or our lives.
The Lord intended for Christian marriages to be banquets: lingering, sipping and savoring delights. (If you need proof, read the Song of
Solomon or pick up a copy of The Book of Romance by Tommy Nelson.) So, my advice to you, and to myself, is to send the children to
grandma's house, get out the good china, light some romantic candles, and get cooking!
About The Author:
Nancy C Anderson is an author and speaker who encourages couples to “fall in like” with each other. Nancy and her husband, Ron,
often speak at couples’ banquets and retreats. They share their marriage testimony “The Death and Resurrection of our
Marriage” and the Biblical principles of guarding our hearts and protecting our marriages.
Visit her at RonAndNancyAnderson.com
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