“The positive thinker sees the invisible,
feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
-- Winston Churchill

As I continue to work towards a lifestyle that evokes a much calmer, more relaxed pace—slowing down just enough to truly experience and enjoy life—I can’t help but think about the power of negative thinking and how detrimental it is to our souls, our families, our marriages.

Negativity can sneak up on us like a thief in the night. One tragedy after another or one setback after another—without any breathing room in between—and a negative spirit can grab hold of our souls and literally suck the life right out of us.

Soon we’re no longer living a conscious lifestyle but a reactive lifestyle. We’re reacting to circumstances, to challenges we seemingly cannot overcome, to the negative people around us, to the injustices we feel, and we stop holding ourselves accountable. We stop proactively living our lives.

Eventually, our energy becomes so drained that its difficult to face each new day. It’s difficult to go to work, to hold onto dreams, to interact with others. All because we cannot see objectively. We cannot see beyond the problems we face, beyond the situations that present themselves. And if we continue down that path, we’ll live very sorry, rather disappointing lifestyles.

That’s why I believe it’s important for us to actively think positive thoughts.

We must rediscover that child-like zest for life where forgiveness comes easily, trust is a given until it’s proven otherwise, hard work makes us feel good not because of a paycheck but because we know we’ve given it our all, and optimism is the first thing we think, not the last.

It’s been said that positive thinking produces positive results—even if the outcome isn’t what we expect. So here are some ways I’ve decided to take action and turn my home into a positive love machine. I hope they help you, too!

1. Stop Feeding Yourself Negativity.
   Over the past few weeks I’ve been keeping a watchful eye on the things that put me in a foul mood and eliminating those things from my life. From e-zines to message boards to television shows to reading materials, if I find myself beginning to feel down about my life, my relationships, or my business it’s time to let that thing go.
   
   
2. Break Bad Habits.
   While I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I do have a few bad habits that could use some major overhauls. For one thing, if I skip a meal my blood sugar gets low and I get really cranky. So cranky that I lash out at my loved ones for absolutely no reason—it could be because I tripped over a shoe that wasn’t put away or a dirty dish that was left on the kitchen table. So the bad habit I will be breaking is skipping meals and I’ll replace that with eating healthier—even if it means eating a snack before the actual meal.
   
   
3. Look For The Positive.
   I have come to realize that I’ve developed a bad habit of seeing the negatives before the positives. Over the past 2 ½ years I would literally say things like, “If it can happen to us, it will” or “With our luck…” I’d even worry myself sick about something bad potentially happening.
   
   But I wasn’t always that way, I used to be the type of person who saw a bad situation for what it was and would immediately begin to look for the good that could come from it. I would acknowledge the situation but I refused to let it grab hold of my life.
   
   I wanted a happier childhood for my children so I would focus on the positive while working through the bad situation. I refused to let the negative drag me, or my family, down. I lost that person somewhere along the way, I’d like to get her back.
   
   
4. Create Positive Affirmations.
   There was a time when I strongly believed in the power of words and positive thinking. So much so that I had my, then, five year old son create a positive affirmation tape for his daddy. I think I’ll start listening to that tape every morning.
   
   Positive affirmations—in case you don’t know—are words, phrases, or sentences that remind us to feel good about ourselves. They lift us up. They help us heal old wounds. They help us visualize what could be. By all accounts, they make us feel so good about ourselves that we begin to feel confident and secure with who we are regardless of outside sources or circumstances.
   
   
5. Hold A Hi/Low Dinner Conversation.
   When my children were little, we played a game called “Hi/Low”. Basically what this meant is that everyone went around the table telling each other about the good part of their days and the bad part of their days. The idea was to evoke conversation, but more importantly, to get our kids to acknowledge their feelings about certain events. Then they hit those dreaded teen years where talking to parents was taboo! Instead of fighting with them, I just stopped trying. Now that they’re “talking to us” again, I’d like to reimplement this into our family dinners.
   
   
6. Take A High Five Walk.
   After reading The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon, my husband and I have decided to take a High Five Walk (our rendition of a walk from the book) in which we must share four things that really made us feel good about our day and one thing we like about the other person. Then we can talk more deeply about those four daily things. We can’t discuss anything negative. It’s our time to just feel good about life and each other.
   
   
7. Speak Positively.
   This would definitely be another bad habit I picked up. While I do a pretty good job speaking positively to my kids and lifting them up with praises, I am horrible at praising my husband these days and even worse when it comes to my own self-talk.
   
   When looking up the quote, “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” in hopes of finding it’s true author, I remembered something I had learned a long time ago—before the kids were even born.
   
   And I can’t help but think, “Shame on me” for speaking negative thoughts into the heart and soul of my spouse and into my own life.
   
   For you see, it’s been said that it takes a multitude of positive reinforcements to wash away just one negative comment. Even if that negativity is silence instead of words —my husband’s favorite way of dealing with issues—we must stop and think about what our verbal and non-verbal communication is saying to those around us and to ourselves.