Going In Style, Part 2

Author: Karen H. Phillips

Last month we discussed elements of a writing voice, based on writing style. This month we continue with four more ways to inject individuality into our writing while adhering to the standards expected by our readers, editors, and agents.

Conciseness

Conciseness is saying what you mean, using an economy of words.

Here, an attorney gives strength to his statement in an effort to justify what he and his assistants are doing:

Gentlemen, trials are too important to be left up to juries. – John Grisham, The Runaway Jury, the character of Rankin Fitch

This one, in the opening paragraphs of a novel, speaks for itself:

In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge. – Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

Coherence

If the sentences in a paragraph, on a page, or in a chapter or article connect and convey clarity, they demonstrate coherence. Transitions that link the sentences, such as words like however, therefore, and thus work in non-fiction or formal writing. Other words that link thoughts include pronouns clearly referring to an antecedent noun in a preceding sentence or phrase and synonyms for words written previously.

Exceptions exist: for example, poetry and dialogue may need to show disjointed thoughts or persons not communicating well.

Note how the phrase “along the way” ties in with the “journey” metaphor, as does “skate.”

Not all of us complete the journey in the same condition. Along the way, some lose their legs or eyes in accidents or altercations, while others skate through the years with nothing worse to worry about than an occasional bad-hair day – Dean Koontz, Odd Hours

Kidd keeps the reader with her in this description of the protagonist’s reaction to bees, connecting their movements, sounds, and appearance to the feelings of a young girl.

At night I would lie in bed and watch the show, how bees squeezed through the cracks in my bedroom wall and flew circles around the room, making that propeller sound, a high-pitched zzzzzz that hummed along my skin. I watched their wings shining like bits of chrome in the dark and felt the longing build in my chest. The way those bees flew, not even looking for a flower, just flying for the feel of the wind, split my heart down its seam. – Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

Variation

Varying sentences in length can spice up the dullest writing and will alter the rhythm and emphasis. A research paper would probably not call for the variety needed in an email to a friend or a humorous essay.

Imagine the effect if the following passages contained all lengthy sentences or all short, clipped ones:

But Braggioni says, “Let them sweat a little. The next time they may be careful. It is very restful to have them out of the way for a while.” She [character of Laura] is not afraid to knock on any door in any street after midnight, and enter in the darkness and say to one of these men who is really in danger: “They will be looking for you—seriously—tomorrow morning after six. Here is some money from Vicente. Go to Vera Cruz and wait.” – Katherine Anne Porter, “Flowering Judas”

A year later another child was born. Angela called him Malachy after his father and gave him a middle name, Gerard, after his father’s brother. The MacNamara sisters said Angela was nothing but a rabbit and they wanted nothing to do with her till she came to her senses.Their husbands agreed. – Frank McCourt, Angela’s Ashes, Pulitzer Prize winner

Parallelism

Parallel writing means expressing related ideas using similar structure. Although this is the usual and accepted way to write, a variation can give the exception emphasis.

He loved to read, write, and speak.

She ran, skipped, and then gave a happy hop to show her joy.

Examples of parallelism from literature:

These were three: winged sandals, a magic wallet which would always become the right size for whatever was to be carried in it, and, most important of all, a cap which made the wearer invisible. – Edith Hamilton, Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes

Sometimes I can still hear the flames and feel Maggie’s arms sticking to me, her hair smoking and her dress falling off her in little black papery flakes. – Alice Walker, Everyday Use

A writer’s voice and style can be difficult to define, but the characteristics we’ve discussed can be a helpful starting point.